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Round the corner from Portland Street, sex was selling pot noodles in Piccadilly Gardens. For those not aware of pot noodles they are a noodle based snack flavoured in different ways. They come in a plastic container, you pour a prescribed amount of hot water into the pot, leave it a few minutes, give it a stir and then eat.

They are pushing a new flavour, hot Piri Piri Chicken. On the advertisement there’s an attractive young woman surrounded by flames and two pots of the noodles arranged to look like, well figure it out for yourself, with the slogan ‘Peel The Top off a Hottie.’ It’s all about as subtle as being hit with a brick.

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I did like the HUMMER though, all decorated for the campaign. In the days before the banking crash they became quite common but I heard the company that makes them got into trouble. And they are ferociously expensive to run.

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There were girls offering a taste (of the noodles that is) to passers-by. OMG I went all ‘Carry On’ there for a moment! Must be all this thinking about sex selling stuff.

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They were shooting an advertisement for the noodles. A couple from Manchester (I think they were genuine, I heard them explain to them what was going to happen in a way that told me they weren’t professionals) were being interviewed about their thoughts on pot noodles. It’s a good job they didn’t ask me. I spent a year at university more or less living on these. They were cheap and easy when I was away from home. By the end of university I was heartily sick of them and haven’t had any at all since. In fact the thought of them makes me feel quite queasy. Not the sort of thing they would want on their advertisement.

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It’s well known that sex has been used to sell stuff ever since we started advertising and selling stuff to each other. From washing powder to high end cars and everything in between, putting your product in close proximity to an attractive human being helps to boost sales. It used to be just women they used but these days it’s guys as well. Though I’m not sure about the attractiveness of some of these guys on these posters. But I guess people have different ideas of what makes an attractive person.

They are restoring a little red, brick, Victorian office block on Portland Street just off Piccadilly Gardens. While they are doing the work they have wrapped the building in some tarps. It’s one of those clever ones which has been printed to look like the building underneath as it was before the restoration started. They took a picture and printed it off. You can see the signs for the businesses in the building and even a Buddleia bush that was growing near the roofline.

Having gone to the expense of doing this, they then decided to put huge advertisement boards over most of it. I guess it will generate some income while the building is restored. The advertisements come and go, but at the moment they have two advertising the High & Mighty store on King Street. This is a store selling clothes for guys who are taller than average (High) or are naturally stocky or have just been around the buffet table one more time than was good for them (Mighty).

The Portland Street façade of the building has these 7 naked guys with risqué  quote ‘The Lengths We Go To’, maintaining the guys’ modesty…

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On the Charlotte Street façade there are the same guys but trendily dressed in clothes from the store….

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Both the advertisements…

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Yet another Manchester United iconic figure, probably the most famous sportsman on the planet, David Beckham, at 38, has announced his retirement from professional football. It is a sad day for people who enjoy football. David was born in the far east of London. His footballing prowess was noticed early and Sir Alex brought him to Manchester for that talent to be nurtured. Although born in London, he grew up in Manchester and part of him still regards Manchester as his home and Manchester still enjoys his visits to the city.

David isn’t thought of as the brightest candle in the box but he’s managed to capitalise on his two great assets, his footballing skill and his good looks, and amass a fortune of £200,000,000+. I should be so stupid! At 17 he was playing for Manchester United as part of, probably, the greatest team they have ever had so far. He was part of the the team that won the treble, The Premiership, The FA Cup and the European Cup back in 1999. He skippered England for six years. When his interests outside Manchester United threatened to affect his football, Sir Alex put him up from transfer. Sir Alex never liked things that got in the way of his team. He moved to Spain and played for Real Madrid. Manchester was upset, his move even affected house prices in the city. After Madrid he move to Los Angeles for an incredibly lucrative contract with LA Galaxy. While there he immersed himself in the high society of LA and New York and made sure that every American could name at least one football player. He’s also played for Paris St. Germain and Milan.

Married to a spice girl, 4 beautiful children, houses across the world, all the boy’s toys a guy could need, in demand where ever he goes, an address book filled with the great and the good of the world, friends with Prince William and a personal invitation to the wedding; not bad for a guy from a council estate in east London.

He’s always loved his clothes and is one of those irritating people who look good in anything. It’s made him in demand by the fashion world for his good looks and clean cut family guy image and he commands huge fees to promote products.

So what will he do to make ends meet? Well that £200,000,000+ fortune with provide him with a bit of a cushion. His wife runs up frocks which I’m told are very much in demand with fashionistas across the world. He could always send the kids out to work. No 2 son, Romeo, has inherited his dad’s love of clothes and is currently the junior face of Burberry with his image plastered across bill boards and glossy magazines from Manchester to Melbourne and back again. And No 1 son, Brooklyn, has inherited some of his dad’s prowess at football and Chelsea are interested in him. That worries me a bit as, unless he’s brilliant, he’s always going to be compared to his dad and that might be difficult for him. But David has proved himself to be a natural and good dad so he’ll be able to sort that one out I’m sure.

What will be do with his time? Well he’s always been a great one for supporting worthy causes. And he’s so famous he’s bound to be in demand for charity work. He’s a great ambassador for sport as well and threw himself into Manchester’s Commonwealth Games and London’s Olympics. so that will be something else he can do. He already has an OBE. Knighthood next year? I wouldn’t bet against it.

I doubt he will just disappear. It’s been fun watching his career so far and I wish him good luck for the future…..

We will remember him for his football skills…

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For the hair. Which ones did you have? 1 and 6 here and a little of 3…

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For the clothes….

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And here’s something for the ladies or anyone else who likes looking at David in his undercrackers. Apparently no socks were distressed in the taking of this photograph…

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I found the site for the Urban Explorers when I was looking for some information about a new development that may be going up next to No1 St. Peter’s Square, imaginatively named No 2 St. Peter’s Square. It will occupy a site currently occupied by 4 much smaller office blocks, three very dull mediocre 1960s office blocks and a thirties office block with art deco twizzles.

I have been aware of this development for awhile and when I first found out about it I contacted the Twentieth Century Society in Manchester (they look after buildings from the 20th Century in the city) and alerted them about the possible destruction of Century House. It is an attractive building made of Portland stone with art deco decoration. Inside, I’ve been, it isn’t great, but it’s been sitting on the square for over 70 years now and has earned it’s position. It could be refurbished inside and the exterior could be retained complementing the other older buildings around the square. I’ve been very happy with what they have done with the square recently. It’s great that they are refurbishing Central Library and the Town Hall Extension. I support the moving of the Cenotaph to a prominent and dignified but quieter corner of the square, opening up the neglected view of the back of Manchester’s iconic Victorian Gothic Town Hall. It’s great that they are moving the tram station to another part of the square giving it more room and opening up the space in front of the library to build a substantial open space. The planting with the Empress/Princess trees looks to be lovely. And I do like the bulk and the finish of No1 St Peter’s Square designed to reflect the curves of the library and Oxford Road as it enters the square, reflecting Peter House and built of stone to tone in with the library.

But I find the possible loss of Century House a step too far. The developers of No2 St. Peter’s Square are seeking planning permission to build and, of course, destroy Century House. It hasn’t been decided yet ,but the clever money seems to be on permission being given by the city council. Here is what we may lose.

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It will be replaced by this. It’s the building on the left beyond the curve of central Library. On the right is the Midland Hotel, then a finished No1 S.P.S. and then No2 S.P.S.. You can see an elaborately carved wall facing into the square. This is meant to reflect the intricately carved wall of the Town Hall Extension.

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This is the carved detail from the Town Hall Extension…

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Apart from the wall with the screen, I think it’s a dull block of a building. It looks to be the same height as No1 and made of white stone. Manchester winters are not kind to white stone. It could be one of 4 similar sized blocks in this area.

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A view from Princess Street. The trees have now gone, making room for the Cenotaph and the new tram station. It dwarfs the little, red brick Victorian office block on the corner…

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A view from futher down Princess Street with the Town Hall on the right….

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A view along Moseley Street with it looming over the Manchester Art Gallery…

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This development has now reached a point where the city generally has become aware of it and ‘the blogs, they are a twitter.’ There is a lot of opposition to the scheme already, mostly surrounding the possible destruction of Century House. I like to comment on one called Manchester Confidential.

http://www.manchesterconfidential.co.uk/

I made a comment about the scheme and it seems to have struck a chord with others and it’s been quoted on other websites, Here’s what I said:

This development has been on the cards for a while. I alerted the 20th Century Society about it a while ago. The new building could be anywhere. It’s not a bad building, but is far from being good and nowhere near good enough to be built in this prominent position. But the worse thing about it is the demolition of Century House which compliments the other buildings around the square perfectly well. I had hoped that the economic downturn would have killed off this proposal but apparently not. Century House may not be the greatest building in the city but it is one of many that add to the architectural ambiance of the city and fill the spaces between the great architectural set pieces. I am very depressed that this beautiful and perfectly decent building will be torn down. Does anyone have a good word for the new proposal?

Hopefully some compromise and revised plan can be made that will allow the building of the office block (building is good) but not sacrificing Century House.

I was surfing around this morning looking for some information and I came across one of these wonderful pictures. I tracked it back to its source and brought me to this:

http://www.millhouseue.com/

It’s the website of a group of guys who go on, what they call, urban explorations. I don’t think it’s entirely legal and health and safety wouldn’t be happy about it either I think. What they do is go into places that are closed and have a look around and then leave. Technically this is ‘breaking and entering’ in the UK, only I don’t think they do the ‘breaking’ bit just the ‘entering.’ And when they leave all they take is a series of stunning pictures. They manage to get into old, interesting buildings, skyscrapers, weird structures, building sites and mines underground and so on.

I think they may be based in Manchester as a lot of the pictures are of structures in the city or within a car ride of the city. They have also done this in Paris, London and Italy. Once they have got in they look around and take their pictures and load them on to their site. One or more of them must have a brilliant camera. I would love to get into some of the places they have accessed. The Albert Hall in Manchester looks stunning and they have managed to get onto the roof of the Hilton Tower.

These pictures come from a set they did on New Year’s Eve. While Manchester was out partying they had ‘gained access’ to the building site of No1 St. Peter’s Square and climbed up one of the two cranes to take these pictures. I love going up tall buildings but I have to do it in the comfort of an enclosed lift. I have a terror of heights and if I’d started this journey, I would have been found, frozen with fear to the crane’s ladder, the next day with my eyes tight shut. And I feel giddy just looking at the picture of the guys out on the arm of the crane high above the city. If I’d made it to the top and would have had to crawl on and back on all fours.

If you want to look at their other pictures, and they are worth it, stunningly beautiful, click the link above or the link on the blog roll to the right under Millhouse – Urban Exploration…

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It was a busy day yesterday with lots to do at main work and then I said I’d drop by on Seymour Grove to do some tutoring. It should have been simple to get home at 7 but roads were blocked off because of the parade to celebrate Manchester United’s latest winning of the Premiership and also say goodbye to their manager of 27 years, Sir Alex Ferguson. This parade marks the end of Sir Alex’s tenure and is a great moment in the team’s history. 100,000 lined the route from the stadium at Old Trafford to the Town Hall in Albert Square and a 10 minute drive turned into 2hours. I suppose I could have gone in and taken pictures, I had my camera, but the crowds were so thick and I was tired so I decided to head home. I got stuck in Talbot Road as the huge crowds around the stadium streamed away from that part of the route. And there was a nasty moment as a stupid father, with little daughter on shoulders, ran out in front of my car trying to get to the tram station. The lights were in my favour but his need to get to the tram stop apparently negated that.

David Moyes takes over for the last couple of games of the season but he’ll just have enough time to put his plants in Sir Alex’s office and find the coffee machine and it will all be over for the summer. He has some deep thinking to do with Wayne Rooney at the top of his list. Rooney has indicated he wants to stay but does Mr Moyes, after the acrimonious court case, want him at the club.? What to do? A move to London club, Chelsea, is a possibility and cash rich French teams, Paris St. Germain and Monaco might be interested. But Rooney, coming form Liverpool, has only a sketchy grasp of English so he will have no chance speaking French.

But yesterday was Sir Alex’s day and it was gratifying to see so many people out to celebrate it with him. Not my pictures but they do catch the atmosphere in the city.

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So Manchester United are having a new manager. And, not unsurprisingly, across the city Mr. Mancini had found himself with out a job and Manchester City are also looking for a new manager. I think Manchester City are beginning to lose sight of reality. Two years ago the won the FA Cup and last year stole the premiership title from under the noses of Manchester United just as they were beginning to celebrate winning it themselves. This year Manchester City went to the FA Cup final but lost, came second in the Premiership and have secured their position playing top flight European football, all under the guidance of Mr. Mancini. 10 years ago the best Manchester City could hope for mid table respectability but now they demand a constant supply of silverware. Mr. Mancini has found himself on a flight back to Italy and a longer than normal summer break. Who will be the new manager is unclear at the moment. The clever money is on Manuel Pellegrini, the current manager of Malaga in Spain. He plays an attacking kind of football that the pundits say Manchester City needs. He hasn’t agreed to it though and whether he’d prepared to swap a villa in sun drenched Malaga for an apartment or country house in cool, wet Manchester remains to be seen.

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Being English, I am by nature the type of person who takes things in his stride. Providing some one isn’t actually doing something that is going to hurt someone or themselves we let people get on with their lives much as they like. In some other countries not conforming to the norm is frowned on but in the UK eccentricity is celebrated. I remember being on a Tube train in London where a random guy began to sing an opera aria, badly, at the top of his voice. He was doing no harm, except to Puccini’s reputation, but he was loud. Foreign tourists worked their way down the carriage looking alarmed and muttering but the English, once we saw he was of no real danger, just carried on reading their books and copies of the Evening Standard and fiddled with their iPods and ignored him.

So I was about to do something similar when a parade of people dressed as cat/dog/foxy creatures was making its way down Portland Street. People were passing them by without a second glance as if it was an everyday occurrence for people to be parading as cat/dog/foxy creatures on a busy Manchester Street. But curiosity got the better of me and I did a very un-English things and approached one of the guys to find out what they were up to.

The people, mostly young guys from about 16 to 2o, were fans of Japanese culture and, in particular, the MANGA and ANIME kind of comic books and their characters. And what they like to do is to dress as these characters and do extended role play games on the streets of Manchester. It also explains the people I see sometimes in Sackville Park on a Saturday afternoon. Just a bit of harmless fun organised by a subculture of Manchester’s youth. And an example of why I love living in Manchester.

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Proving, yet again, that you don’t need a great deal of space to grow food, is the Unicorn Grocery Worker’s Co-Operative Supermarket on Manchester Road in Chorlton. It sounds like something that you might have found in Communist Eastern Europe or even present day North Korea but nothing could be further from the truth. In many ways its more like the John Lewis department store chain, one of the stores of choice of the UK’s middle classes. It is owned by the people who work in it and, while they are paid a wage, they also receive a share of the profits so it is in their interest to make it work. So it does. There is a strong tradition of these worker’s co-operatives in the Manchester area where we have always marched to the beat of our own drum. The most famous is the Co-Op itself with its chain of ethically run supermarkets, banks and other businesses where the workers and the customers share part of the profits. It started out in Victorian times as a co-operative to bring good food at cheap prices to the working people of Rochdale and has turned into a multi billion £ business still run on ethical lines. The Unicorn (yet to see one tied up outside) sells locally produced, organic, in season food and other things from ethical  to Chorlton’s trendy, green community.

http://www.unicorn-grocery.co.uk/

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There is a slither of land between their building and the pavement. They have worked hard and turned it into a little garden with a bicycle rack, a seating area and edible plants to show just what can be done in a small area. I took these pictures while waiting to use their atm, provided by the ethical Co-Op Bank of course.

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I think most of these plants are edible. I see thyme, chives, strawberries, onions… But I wouldn’t try the tulips, I’ve heard they are poisonous, or is that daffodils where people have mistaken their bulbs for onions?

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If I might be so bold as to suggest another project to @biggreenfest for their next project to green Chorlton it would be this one.

In the centre of Chorlton, there is a popular little shopping precinct. Popular it may be but a thing of beauty it isn’t. Not exactly sure when it was built, but it has the fingerprints of the 1960s all over it. There are similar developments in suburbs across the city and the only reason this one does as well as it does, is because it is in Chorlton and people like the little stores especially the greengrocers like Elliott’s where I like to call in for some fruit when I’m passing by. As I said the precinct is not a thing of beauty. It’s made of that dirty red brick that the city seemed to buy a job lot of in the 60s and built some of the astonishingly ugly university buildings around All Saint’s (see the ‘Blots on the Landscape’ tab). There’s some of the ubiquitous, stained, sixties concrete and a stumpy little office tower that is too short to be classed a skyscraper and too tall for the suburban landscape of Chorlton.

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But what I really dislike about it is that it turns its back on Manchester Road and faces inward rather like the Arndale Centre used to do in the city centre until the IRA forced a redesign and made it face out into the streets. As you walk down Manchester Road you are faced by a blank wall of red brick with no indication of what is in there. It also cuts off the shops further along Manchester Road from the rest of the village and they are amongst the most interesting in the area. People arriving in the centre of Chorlton looking for the likes of the fabled Barbakan and Unicorn might give up and go home as the impression you get is that there is nothing further along Manchester Road beyond the blank red wall.

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I seem to remember there being a plan which involved the rebuilding of this precinct, moving Chorlton Library and Chorlton swimming pool here along with new shops and the existing library and swimming pool would get new uses but that was in the days before 2008 when the world was awash with borrowed money. In 2013 we are in a different world and such grandiose plans are, for the moment, a thing of the past. Someone must own this precinct. If it was me, as a unit came vacant, I would knock through the brick wall and give each store two entrances and windows, one into the precinct and the other facing Manchester Road which would at least solve the dull wall problem. Maybe a couple could become cafes who could spread out onto the Manchester Road side in warm weather.

Between the blank, red wall and the road there is a patch of grass, you can’t really dignify it by calling it a lawn. There are some fine trees on it and they are great assets to the area. I would leave them be. Though I might give thought to evicting the pigeons who sit in the beautiful horse chestnut trees waiting to be fed by an old lady (I have seen her do it, she knows who she is) under the ‘DO NOT FEED THE PIGEONS’ signs. But the grass is pretty poor, doesn’t add much to the ambiance of the area and disappears completely under the horse chestnut trees.

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In my last post I mentioned the state of the pavements in Chorlton. Here, below, is a good example of what I mean. This patch has been dug up, re-laid, dug up again several times, re-laid again resulting in this mismatched, ugly, possibly dangerous stretch of tarmac. Now when I spend my hard earned cash I like to spend it in places where the experience is enhanced by the ambiance of the built environment. Shopping in central Manchester is a pleasure because you shop surrounded by some of the best architecture in the city. On wet days I can go the faux-marbled halls of the Trafford Centre. Chorlton does have good retail experiences but bland, red brick walls and poor pavements don’t add to it. West Didsbury has just had all the pavements resurfaced in an attractive mixture of tarmac and brick, it brings together all the restaurants and stores and helps to give the area some of its character and a firm identity. It says we care for this area and you are safe to come here. It would be good if Chorlton could do similar, unifying all the different areas of the retail area.

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That would be expensive I suspect and money is in short supply of course. Maybe the cost could be met by the city and Chorlton businesses who would benefit from it? With businesses making a contribution as a tiny percentage of their profits? What wouldn’t be so expensive would be my plan for the grass outside the wall. I propose a wildflower meadow. It would look stunning in summer for weeks on end. It is low maintenance and is great for attracting insects like bees. Someone, possibly @biggreenfest, has been working here and a few weeks ago there was a drift of yellow daffodils that brightened the area. Sadly, their season is over for the year and they look a bit bedraggled, left to their own devices they will be back next spring.

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I understand that setting up a wild flower meadow is relatively simple. I watched some be set up near where I live. First, in late winter, you come along and spread some pretty strong chemical over the part of the grass you want to be the meadow that kills all the grass and weeds like dandelions that can take over, competing with the plants you want. It looks pretty severe and we wondered what the **** they were up to. When it’s all died down, someone rotivates the area and it is seeded with the mixture of flowers you want. If this was done in Chorlton the pigeons would have to be gone as I’m sure that would have great fun picking through the soil finding all those nice fresh seeds. Done correctly you are rewarded by a wildflower meadow with colour that goes through from late June until October. You then let it go to seed, cut it down and, with luck, it all returns next year.

Here’s one I made earlier….

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I got a tweet from @chorltontraders (highlights the various doings of traders in Chorlton to drum up business for the area) asking what could be done to improve Chorlton. As regular readers of this blog will know, it’s one of my favourite parts of the city. It’s a pleasant place to live and hang out and it’s become a very successful part of the city. I suggested the following:

1: Replace the pavements like they have recently done in West Didsbury, the ones in Chorlton are a bit haphazard in design and down right nasty in places, possibly verging on dangerous.

2: Plant more roadside trees. Chorlton is already a very green part of the city but there are spaces where more trees could be planted and walking along tree lined roads is pleasant in any season.

3: Do something with the patch of grass/mud patch (depends on the weather) next to the 1960s shopping centre on Manchester Road.

4: Smarten up some of the shop fronts on the outside. Some do look a bit run down and tatty and a pot of paint isn’t expensive. And while they are at it some of the people who own the shops could do something interesting with their shop windows. A competition perhaps with awards for the best dressed window? Mary Portas is always banging on about shop windows. They may not have the resources that Harvey Nichols has (whose windows are always a treat) but I’m sure they can come up with something. Look at Betty and Butch’s windows, they do a lot on a budget.

5: Do a moratorium of what goods and services are on offer in Chorlton, identify gaps and then actively go and search companies that will provide these missing services.

6: People love a bargain and a market. Chorlton has a monthly one. Make it bigger and have it weekly.

A couple of days later I got another tweet from @biggreenfest, another Chorlton organisation (Chorlton is very good at promoting itself, something that other areas could learn from I think). They are a group concerned about the natural environment of Chorlton. They had seen my tweets about the Chorlton improvement ideas and had come back to me with pictures of one of their latest projects, the barrier planters they had put up and planted out. So I said that I would go and do some pictures and do a post. So here are the pictures and here is the post…

They have put up some of these three tiered planters that look like wedding cakes on the wider pavements on Wilbraham Road. They look a bit thin at the moment but it’s early days and the plants will thicken up over the summer. Here’s the website for @biggreenfest…..

http://www.chorltonsbiggreenfestival.org.uk/2012/

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I thought they were going for edible plants at first but, on closer observation, they are a mixture. This is Sage….

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You can eat Nasturtium flowers and the leaves (I think) in salads….

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This is Lavender which can be used to flavour food…

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Where Wilbraham Road meets the Manchester Road/Barlow Moor Road junction they have planted up some of these single planters. Again the plants look a bit thin at the moment but will bulk up in the coming months…

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These are the barrier planters. The barriers are designed to funnel people to a safe place to cross the roads at this busy intersection. They can be austere but these barrier planters brighten them up in the summer. They are little horizontal gardens. Not sure what all the plants are but I can see ornamental grasses, violas and begonias.

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When I take a picture I’m concentrating on my subject and are unaware of what’s happening on the periphery which might creep into the shot. I liked this picture with the guy in shorts on the left contemplating his banana. And, no that’s not an euphemism…

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